Pausing to remember babies lost

Heidelberg West couple Samantha Rowe and Paul Lyons have lost six babies in the past three years — but their positivity brings a ray of hope to families at a special service to mark International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

“Very sadly, losing a baby is still considered a taboo subject and people are awkward talking about it — but the statistics show that one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage (this means that they are lost before 20 weeks’ gestation) so that’s a lot of mothers, fathers and families grieving,” says Samantha. Though devastated by the experience, Samantha now supports other bereaved families by making keepsakes to honour the lives of children who have left us too soon.

“It’s so important to acknowledge that these babies existed whether they died at four weeks or 40 weeks. Often dads are forgotten too — but they can also feel broken and hurt,” she says.

Samantha and Paul are attending Mercy Hospital for Women’s special candle-lighting service in the multifaith chapel, level two, 163 Studley Road, Heidelberg, from 2–3pm on Sunday 15 October to honour babies who have passed away.

At the service, they will comfort others and remember their babies Cooper, Hudson, identical twins Emma and Zoe and subsequent treasured babies they miscarried.

International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is acknowledged on 15 October each year and remembers all lost babies and the profound, eternal loss felt by their families. Sadly, three in every 1,000 babies born each year in Australia die before they reach one year old. In addition to this, and miscarriages, six babies are stillborn every day.

Samantha and Paul say their loss is immeasurable but the unwavering care shown by Mercy Hospital for Women’s Pastoral Carer Annie Olsson has helped them enormously. Pastoral care workers help women and families with emotional and spiritual support.

“We are forever thankful for how helpful Annie has been,” says Samantha. Until you are thrust into this world you don’t realise that you are so caught up in grief that you sometimes don’t know what you want. When you are faced with decisions about the burial or cremation of your baby it can be very tough and confronting.”

Mercy Health warmly invites anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby, whether at Mercy Hospital for Women or elsewhere, to attend the International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day service. “Our baby journey has been long and incredibly hard but we are still trying and hope we will get a happy ending,” says Samantha.

Mercy Health Foundation’s community fundraiser Pram Jam raises awareness and funds for stillbirth and complications from babies being born prematurely. From Monday 20 November to Sunday 26 November 2017, Pram Jam participants will push their pram, walk or run any distance and ask friends, family and colleagues to sponsor them online to help raise funds.

All proceeds will go towards Mercy Perinatal, to support ongoing care, research, education and treatments to advance the health and wellbeing of mums and bubs across the country. To register or donate, visit pramjam.org.au