“He was very gentle and placid and always smiling. My kids just adored him.” Emotions are still raw for Pat Grundy as she remembers her younger brother, Ernest (Ernie) Chapman, who died earlier this year.*
Pat’s love for her brother glows through her vivid recollection of his care and every pain he suffered in the lead up to his death. It is not easy to forget the people we love.
Both Aboriginal, Pat and Ernie were always close, particularly after Ernie suffered a head injury when he fell off his high chair as a two year old. The accident left him with a lifelong intellectual disability and epilepsy, but Pat was always his protector.
“Back in the old days there wasn’t the help for people like Ernie that there is now. We had to shelter him and keep him inside. People were very cruel to him back then and as a young child I always protected him,” Pat says.
Pat Grundy and her brother Ernie when he was in palliative care at the Gabrielle Jennings Centre at Werribee Mercy Hospital.
With the love and support of his family, Ernie went on to live a happy life until a frantic trip to the Werribee Mercy Hospital Emergency Department (ED) in December last year brought the worst of news. Scans revealed a tumour in Ernie’s rib cage originating from a bout of bowel cancer he had recovered from three years earlier. “We didn’t have a Christmas at all. It was just devastating news,” says Pat.
Sadly, the tumour did not respond to chemotherapy. The cancer rapidly spread though Ernie’s body, landing him once again at the ED in an unconscious, near-death state.
“I got the priest in at midnight to say prayers for him and all the family left at 2.30am in the morning, ” says Pat. “I stayed there with my daughter. Then, for some reason, I started talking to him and saying ‘Come on, Ernest. You can beat this. Come on Ern, can you hear me?’ And then I thought I saw his eye open and I said ‘Ernest, can you see your sister?‘”
Pat kept on talking to Ernie and within an hour he slowly came to, opened his eyes and smiled.
Ernie continued to gain in strength and enjoyed one last miraculous burst of life, which lasted six weeks. During the first three weeks of this time he was able to enjoy visits from family and friends, venture out into the sunshine, go to the hospital cafe in his wheelchair, talk to the nurses and spend precious, undivided time with Pat.
Pat misses Ernie every day.
Werribee Mercy Hospital Aboriginal Hospital Liaison Officer Virginia Vaughan organised a smoking ceremony for Ernie outside the hospital. “We wheeled him outside for the ceremony. That helped him on his way. He passed away not long after that,” Pat says.
Having Virginia’s support meant a lot to Ernie and Pat. “We understand each other, we share a cultural connection, beliefs and our Dreamtime stories,” Pat says. “It was great comfort to me and Ernie.”
“I was really proud the hospital allowed us to give Ernie the smoking ceremony,” says Virgina. “It was just beautiful and I was so glad to be a part of it. They were such a lovely family and the bond that Pat and Ernie had was amazing. He was such a special guy.”
Last reviewed July 29, 2020.